A step at a time

The hard thing for me to do with the business is trusting myself. I get an idea, and I get a feeling, many feelings, some of which scare shit out of me. I have never cultivated "the trust in myself" feelings. I have been very good at shutting myself up out of some stupid reasons which I later can not recall. Stubbornness helps. I am one of the stubbornest people I have met. I am bothered by it as well as my excess selfishness, but I am starting to appreciate both of them. They play very well when I don't seem to bring myself trust me. I would do right things out of stubbornness. It is still different. I sort of get angry because I have to fight the voices telling me to ignore me and would turn into a raging bull or a train with no breaks focused on a goal, crushing obstacles on my way. Most of the time the person obtructing me from reaching this goal in a more peaceful and healthier manner is myself. Do I really have to get mad and work with this rage and anger?