Korea and Me. The relationships.

I was writing an email to a friend who immigrated to Australia with her Korean husband and kid, and admitted that Korea and I have a very special relationship, the one you might find between a victim and her abuser. No need to explain. Victims when abducted and harassed get very dependent on and even attach to their abuser. Objectively speaking, I suffered all sorts of abuse - physical ( ex. being overworked), emotional (being blamed for my Russian origin non stop), financial ( being underpaid, money being stolen from me by my ex-husband, my recruiters, land lords, employers, "friends") . I lost faith in me and others because of just too much bad stuff and too little good stuff happening to me. I worked and tried harder than I thought was humanly possible. Sometimes I say that with the amount of effort I put in doing something here I would have become a president under Mr. Putin in my own country. But not here. I simply keep losing, I keep taking the abuse in all its forms. Yet, I am still here. I am attached to my violator. I am close, dangerously close to running out of excuses of why I am still here.